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My Lady's Favour, Or, Why Do We Do This?

by Lord Thomas Buttsthorn

The primary difference between combat as it is done in the SCA and as it is in other Recreational Societies and groups lies not in the weaponry. Other groups use swords and shields in medieval style battles. We are not the only medieval society in the world.

Our combat is actually that: combat; while many other groups tend to have choreographed pseudo battles. Our fighters do their best to miss the shield and strike their foe. But, that isn't the significant difference, either. In my mind, the real difference between our combat and all other combat lies not in the "what" or "how" of it, but rather in the "why."

In no other group that I know of is more said on why we fight. Yes, of course it is fun, or we wouldn't do it; and it's nicer to win than to lose. But in the SCA, there is more. And it is this difference which is, to me, all the difference in the world. Yet it is this difference, of which we often speak, that I have seen little written, or to which it seems little thought is given. This single motivation is that we fight for the honour of our ladies (or lord).

When we say this, what do we really mean? Several things. When a fighter steps onto the field to do combat, wearing his lady's favour at his belt, it is as if she stands at his side. He is announcing to the world that it is she whose honour he seeks to further, for the support and inspiration she gives him. By his conduct on the field, as well as off, he shows the world his worthiness to wear that favour. His deeds for good or ill reflect on her as well as himself.

When a lady gives her favour, she is saying in effect: "I place in your trust my good name and my honour. Go forth with my blessing to seek honour, whether in victory or defeat” Taking and wearing it is to announce her special glory to the world.

This bestowing of a favour by a lady does not, as we know, necessarily mean that there is a heavy relationship or a commitment of love or marriage. It can be a sincere token of friendship, respect and affirmation of her belief in your honour. It should not be given lightly, and it shouldn't be taken lightly. It is the first duty of anyone who wears another's favour to strive to the utmost to prove that the giver was not wrong in doing so.

But why should we bother with all this? Isn’t it easier to just say that we're fighting for the fun of it and the rest is just "window dressing"? Perhaps for some this may, in fact, be true. But for me, as well as for many others, to fight on behalf of my lady and those ladies whose favours I wear, adds a meaning and purpose to it all. Yes, I enjoy fighting and prefer winning to losing; but without the love and support that these noble ladies have given me, it truly is only an empty, meaningless exercise. Beyond today's pleasure, of what purpose is it?

But, when it is for a higher sort of fineness that I strive, even defeat, when it is with honour, becomes a victory. Victory without it becomes defeat. I know that I am not alone in refusing to live a life without meaning, merely filling time until death. What higher meaning could one find than to dedicate your efforts to achieve a higher good, to accomplish deeds to lay, as the finest fruits of your labours, at the feet of she who above all has believed you worthy to perform them?

This workaday world focuses on material gain, as well as winning against others; and in general, glorification of self. This is sometimes called "Me-ism." But it is this very self oriented, hollow, two-dimensional materialism that the heart of what we call "The Dream" cries out against. It is in giving to others, and in helping others, not out of subservience, but out of mutual love and respect, that we find a common bond of humanity.

When we spend more energy on helping and bonding with other people, we perhaps lose some of that feeling of being the most important thing in the universe, but we gain an entire universe of brotherhood and sisterhood in which we are all important. That which lessens my brother or sister lessens me, for we are all one.

When I wear my lady's favour, as well as the favours of those ladies with whom I share a special respect, admiration, and friendship, what I am saying is simply "I am for them." I am devoting my energies and aspirations toward bringing them honour and joy in making a gift to them of any accomplishment I may achieve. This is because without their love, support and ongoing faith in me, I could never have done it. And even if I could, it would not have nearly the meaning. They are for me.

If I am a tree that blossoms, it will be because of them. I can only hope that perhaps in some way I can help them blossom too. Wearing their favour is my pledge to try.

Dedicated to
Lady Helyn Brownberry
Lady Katrina the Carefree
Lady Cordwainer Christia Barrett
Mistress Rowan Perigrynne
Lady Ambrosia de Andalucia
Lady Selivia de l’Estoile

And to she who is an example to us all
Duchess Verena of Laurlein

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